cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast

SPOILER ALERT

2008-03-02T21:40:00.000-08:00

Since becoming a filmmaker, I have lost my ability to watch movies without noticing almost every continuity problem, boom microphone shadow and bad edit. I have also lost my attachment to the surprises and discoveries that are presented when seeing a movie for the first time. This puts me in a unique position when I ask someone to tell me about a movie they saw and they tell me, No, you need to see it.

I can't figure out what a person is trying to accomplish by withholding this simple information. I'm clearly not five-years-old and in need of someone to make decisions for me, nor am I asking them to reveal a state secret. I'm pretty certain that their verbal telling of the story will not outshine the millions of dollars of visual splendor that splashes across the screen and maybe that's the issue. Tell it poorly and I might not see the movie. Tell it well and I might not see the movie. Come to think of it, maybe they're working for the studios, trying to secure my ten dollars at the box office.

Lucky for me I have a group of movie going friends that will simply fess up, but this too has a downside. The conversation about the movie I am Legend went something like this:

Me: Does Will Smith die?
Allen: He goes to a video store, where he rents movies and takes them back and...
Me (interrupting): But does Will Smith die?
Allen: I'm getting to that. And then he leaves and he's driving down...
Me (interrupting again): I just want to know if Will Smith dies.
Allen: That's what I'm trying to tell you. So then he hits...
Me (interrupting again): Forget it. I don't want to know.

I felt like Judge Chamberlain Haller, played by Fred Gwynne, in My Cousin Vinny, only I couldn't hold Allen in contempt of court. I could only hang up the phone. The reality is there are people that don't like surprises and people who want more information than is offered up in a trailer or a synopsis. On some days, I am one of those people. So when I want to find out what happens in a movie, before I see it, I visit The Movie Spoiler at www.themoviespoiler.com. This way, when I'm in the theater and I need a bathroom break, I won't have to run for fear of missing something that will leave me lost.

Love In Las Vegas

2008-03-02T21:33:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, two lonely hearts met, fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after. It’s a timeless tale that has unfolded in literature for centuries and graced the silver screen since the beginning of cinema. It was this tale that was at the heart of a discussion between me (the cool aunt) and two seventeen-year-old girls (my niece Sarah and her best friend Justine) during a trip to Sin City to see the Spice Girls.

Las Vegas has seen the start of a number of fairy tales as well as its fair share of not-so-happily-ever-afters. Considered the wedding capital of the world, it was a surreal backdrop as teenage wedding dreams, love ideas and unexpected relationship questions were presented. Specific movie scenes were used to communicate opinions and ideas of possible love and I shuddered to remember back to the time when I was them.

The Notebook, starring Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling received the majority vote as best romantic film of all time (remember there were only three of us). Pretty Woman, starring Julia Roberts, which was made when Sarah and Justine were going on two-years-old, came in second and Tristan and Isolde, starring James Franco and Sophia Myles tied for third with Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

They hadn’t seen When Harry, Met Sally starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal - a film that took us on a journey through indifference, friendship, heartbreak and love. Nor had they seen Moonstruck staring Cher and Nicolas Cage where love was a little broken but still incredibly beautiful. They had never heard of High Fidelity, starring John Cusack which was my number one pick and one of the most accurate portrayals of love I have ever seen on screen. We all agreed that the star studded film Love Actually deserved, at the very least, an honorable mention and though I fought hard, The Princess Bride, which will forever grace my top ten list, was dismissed with the likes of Disney’s Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. What can say, I was out numbered.

I have to admit, I found it unsettling to see that these two young women had traded in the animated representations of “happily ever after” for the overly simplified fantasies delivered via live action. I wanted to tell them that love as verb or noun, is complex and tedious and will almost NEVER look like love looks in the movies. And it certainly lasts a lot longer – which could be a good thing or a really bad thing – depending on which act you’re in. I wanted to present words like work and compromise and forgiveness. And say something that would allow them to see the size of a promise. I wanted to tell them to love with abandon but keep their hearts safe – knowing that you cannot do both at the same time. And then I remembered why I don’t have kids.

As the cool aunt I decided to leave the popping of the love bubble to their parents and focus on the Spice Girls. And when love goes mad, rocketing down the road at lightening speed and then hits a patch of ice and spins out of control - I’ll be there with a shoulder to cry on, a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a DVD of Austin Powers: Gold Member and The Big Lebowski because there’s nothing like laughter and ice cream to mend a broken heart.

Holiday Movies Aren't What They Used To Be

2007-12-31T15:47:00.000-08:00

It used to be that the end of Thanksgiving signaled the start of the Christmas season. Store shelves would fill with holiday decorations, twinkling lights would frame the windows of shops and homes and carols would dance from radio speakers everywhere. It seemed to start out gently and then build gradually over approximately thirty days. And the night that “Frosty The Snowman” showed on television, you knew that Christmas was just about here.

Christmas movies have, for the most part, been anchored in the celebration of family, miracles, gratitude and joy. Movies like “It’s A Wonderful Life” and “Miracle On 42nd Street” are classics that are still shown in the last few days before Santa’s arrival. The 1942 film “Holiday Inn”, directed by Mark Sandrich, is considered the first Christmas film but wasn’t actually a Christmas film at all.

Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire made their first on-screen appearance together in this musical where they competed for the affections of one woman. Not exactly a Christmas plot but drop in Irving Berlin’s song “White Christmas” and suddenly you have a Christmas movie.

Animation has always played a significant role in building the holiday spirit for everyone. Arthur Rankin Jr and Jules Bass of Video Craft International used stop motion animation with figurines to create holiday specials for television starting the 1960’s. “Rudolph”, based on the song "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" by Johnny Marks, became the longest running and most popular Christmas program in television history. Video Craft International went on to produce the animated classics “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” and “The Year Without A Santa Claus”, which brought us the Miser Brothers – who incidentally have their own websites, maintained by their fans.

“Christmas” in real life has always remained committed to tradition while “Christmas” in the movies has become anything but traditional. “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” brought kidnapping to Christmas and Tim Burton’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas” added a touch of Halloween. In “Die Hard” starring Bruce Willis, the holidays were celebrated with machine guns and explosives while “Bad Santa” starring Billy Bob Thorton, took the character of Santa Claus to a somewhat, indescribable place.

Christmas is a time for us to reflect on our lives and to seek the best in ourselves and in others. And now that Christmas is starting right after Halloween – I swear that’s when the holiday fair started appearing in stores - we should have plenty of time for personal growth and improving our position on Santa’s list. Happy Holidays.

From my column "Movies In Reel Life" featured twice a month in El Hispanic News

Girl Fights

2007-11-24T16:11:00.000-08:00

I never considered myself a boxing fan as I didn't understand why anyone would agree to be hit, much less pay to watch two men hit each other. When I was approached by Thad Spencer, a heavyweight contender from the Ali era, about making a movie about his life, I was given an opportunity to experience a small part of the boxing world. I spent six months researching his journey as a boxer in the late sixties which was an exciting time where one man could win the most sought after title of heavyweight champion of the world. I spent another six months in the crowd of boxing fans watching blows fly from the fists of Roy Jones Jr, Mike Tyson, Floyd Mayweather, Lamon Brewster and Winky Wright. It was fascinating to watch a punch be thrown with precision and force and then land square in the face of the opponent who managed to stay on his feet and return an equally powerful blow.

As my education unfolded I found myself enthralled with all types of fighting and started to take special notice of how battles were handled in movies. Unlike the drunken brawls on “Cops” where someone inevitably thinks it's a good idea to challenge the one person who has a gun and is allowed to shoot them, movie fights are choreographed to help drive the story. We've all seen the male hero go up against the bad guy with no ammo, no backup, nothing left but his fists. And while it's often a fight to the death, neither side hits below the belt. They fly through windows, break tables, fall two stories - all while fighting “fair”.

Unarmed, female heroines are not as common. It wasn't long ago that a girl fight in a movie consisted of two girls engaged in a hair pulling-scratching-biting exchange where high-heeled shoes had been kicked off and men were standing by waiting to see someone's underwear. Things turned when Demi Moore went to blows with a man in GI Jane and held her own. In a more farcical fashion Angelina Jolie knocked Brad Pitt around in Mr & Mrs Smith and Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz unleashed some creative stunts in Charlie's Angels.

I'm sure there are many reasons we don't see more of this in movies and I suspect it's because many people don't consider a fist fight between a man and a woman – a fair match. As a writer, if I expect the audience to back my male hero I can't have him kill an unarmed woman – unless she has superpowers or is a cyborg. If my story is filled with stunts and impossibilities I can easily have my female heroine take out an army of thugs with one punch after another. It's when the story is supposed to be taken seriously that writers start arming their women.

In Kill Bill I & II, Lucy faces an army using her martial arts skills. In The Matrix, Trinity uses her acrobatic fighting technique and guns to take out the computer generated “agents”. Alabama Whitman turns the tides of a brutal beating using a corkscrew in True Romance. And Lt Ripley, using a walking, forklift loader, takes on the Alien queen. The appeal that has stirred off of these tough girl characters has spilled into real life with the growing popularity of women's boxing and cage fighting as well as the more playful and sexually charged Jello wrestling, roller derby and organized pillow fighting. It seems that women are finding their inner Ripley and the rest of us are showing up to watch.

I exited my research on the life of Thad Spencer a boxing fan and I've made a commitment to include only realistic fights in my screenplays unless I'm writing a comedy. I'm considering trying out for the local roller derby team or maybe entering a Jello wrestling match because, in the words of Rocky from the top grossing boxing film of all time, “I can't sing or dance.”

Check out this rambling in the November 15th issue of El Hispanic News