SPOILER ALERT

Since becoming a filmmaker, I have lost my ability to watch movies without noticing almost every continuity problem, boom microphone shadow and bad edit. I have also lost my attachment to the surprises and discoveries that are presented when seeing a movie for the first time. This puts me in a unique position when I ask someone to tell me about a movie they saw and they tell me, No, you need to see it.

I can't figure out what a person is trying to accomplish by withholding this simple information. I'm clearly not five-years-old and in need of someone to make decisions for me, nor am I asking them to reveal a state secret. I'm pretty certain that their verbal telling of the story will not outshine the millions of dollars of visual splendor that splashes across the screen and maybe that's the issue. Tell it poorly and I might not see the movie. Tell it well and I might not see the movie. Come to think of it, maybe they're working for the studios, trying to secure my ten dollars at the box office.

Lucky for me I have a group of movie going friends that will simply fess up, but this too has a downside. The conversation about the movie I am Legend went something like this:

Me: Does Will Smith die?
Allen: He goes to a video store, where he rents movies and takes them back and...
Me (interrupting): But does Will Smith die?
Allen: I'm getting to that. And then he leaves and he's driving down...
Me (interrupting again): I just want to know if Will Smith dies.
Allen: That's what I'm trying to tell you. So then he hits...
Me (interrupting again): Forget it. I don't want to know.

I felt like Judge Chamberlain Haller, played by Fred Gwynne, in My Cousin Vinny, only I couldn't hold Allen in contempt of court. I could only hang up the phone. The reality is there are people that don't like surprises and people who want more information than is offered up in a trailer or a synopsis. On some days, I am one of those people. So when I want to find out what happens in a movie, before I see it, I visit The Movie Spoiler at www.themoviespoiler.com. This way, when I'm in the theater and I need a bathroom break, I won't have to run for fear of missing something that will leave me lost.

Love In Las Vegas

Once upon a time, two lonely hearts met, fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after. It’s a timeless tale that has unfolded in literature for centuries and graced the silver screen since the beginning of cinema. It was this tale that was at the heart of a discussion between me (the cool aunt) and two seventeen-year-old girls (my niece Sarah and her best friend Justine) during a trip to Sin City to see the Spice Girls.

Las Vegas has seen the start of a number of fairy tales as well as its fair share of not-so-happily-ever-afters. Considered the wedding capital of the world, it was a surreal backdrop as teenage wedding dreams, love ideas and unexpected relationship questions were presented. Specific movie scenes were used to communicate opinions and ideas of possible love and I shuddered to remember back to the time when I was them.

The Notebook, starring Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling received the majority vote as best romantic film of all time (remember there were only three of us). Pretty Woman, starring Julia Roberts, which was made when Sarah and Justine were going on two-years-old, came in second and Tristan and Isolde, starring James Franco and Sophia Myles tied for third with Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

They hadn’t seen When Harry, Met Sally starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal - a film that took us on a journey through indifference, friendship, heartbreak and love. Nor had they seen Moonstruck staring Cher and Nicolas Cage where love was a little broken but still incredibly beautiful. They had never heard of High Fidelity, starring John Cusack which was my number one pick and one of the most accurate portrayals of love I have ever seen on screen. We all agreed that the star studded film Love Actually deserved, at the very least, an honorable mention and though I fought hard, The Princess Bride, which will forever grace my top ten list, was dismissed with the likes of Disney’s Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. What can say, I was out numbered.

I have to admit, I found it unsettling to see that these two young women had traded in the animated representations of “happily ever after” for the overly simplified fantasies delivered via live action. I wanted to tell them that love as verb or noun, is complex and tedious and will almost NEVER look like love looks in the movies. And it certainly lasts a lot longer – which could be a good thing or a really bad thing – depending on which act you’re in. I wanted to present words like work and compromise and forgiveness. And say something that would allow them to see the size of a promise. I wanted to tell them to love with abandon but keep their hearts safe – knowing that you cannot do both at the same time. And then I remembered why I don’t have kids.

As the cool aunt I decided to leave the popping of the love bubble to their parents and focus on the Spice Girls. And when love goes mad, rocketing down the road at lightening speed and then hits a patch of ice and spins out of control - I’ll be there with a shoulder to cry on, a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a DVD of Austin Powers: Gold Member and The Big Lebowski because there’s nothing like laughter and ice cream to mend a broken heart.

Holiday Movies Aren't What They Used To Be

It used to be that the end of Thanksgiving signaled the start of the Christmas season. Store shelves would fill with holiday decorations, twinkling lights would frame the windows of shops and homes and carols would dance from radio speakers everywhere. It seemed to start out gently and then build gradually over approximately thirty days. And the night that “Frosty The Snowman” showed on television, you knew that Christmas was just about here.

Christmas movies have, for the most part, been anchored in the celebration of family, miracles, gratitude and joy. Movies like “It’s A Wonderful Life” and “Miracle On 42nd Street” are classics that are still shown in the last few days before Santa’s arrival. The 1942 film “Holiday Inn”, directed by Mark Sandrich, is considered the first Christmas film but wasn’t actually a Christmas film at all.

Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire made their first on-screen appearance together in this musical where they competed for the affections of one woman. Not exactly a Christmas plot but drop in Irving Berlin’s song “White Christmas” and suddenly you have a Christmas movie.

Animation has always played a significant role in building the holiday spirit for everyone. Arthur Rankin Jr and Jules Bass of Video Craft International used stop motion animation with figurines to create holiday specials for television starting the 1960’s. “Rudolph”, based on the song "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" by Johnny Marks, became the longest running and most popular Christmas program in television history. Video Craft International went on to produce the animated classics “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” and “The Year Without A Santa Claus”, which brought us the Miser Brothers – who incidentally have their own websites, maintained by their fans.

“Christmas” in real life has always remained committed to tradition while “Christmas” in the movies has become anything but traditional. “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” brought kidnapping to Christmas and Tim Burton’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas” added a touch of Halloween. In “Die Hard” starring Bruce Willis, the holidays were celebrated with machine guns and explosives while “Bad Santa” starring Billy Bob Thorton, took the character of Santa Claus to a somewhat, indescribable place.

Christmas is a time for us to reflect on our lives and to seek the best in ourselves and in others. And now that Christmas is starting right after Halloween – I swear that’s when the holiday fair started appearing in stores - we should have plenty of time for personal growth and improving our position on Santa’s list. Happy Holidays.

From my column "Movies In Reel Life" featured twice a month in El Hispanic News

Girl Fights

I never considered myself a boxing fan as I didn't understand why anyone would agree to be hit, much less pay to watch two men hit each other. When I was approached by Thad Spencer, a heavyweight contender from the Ali era, about making a movie about his life, I was given an opportunity to experience a small part of the boxing world. I spent six months researching his journey as a boxer in the late sixties which was an exciting time where one man could win the most sought after title of heavyweight champion of the world. I spent another six months in the crowd of boxing fans watching blows fly from the fists of Roy Jones Jr, Mike Tyson, Floyd Mayweather, Lamon Brewster and Winky Wright. It was fascinating to watch a punch be thrown with precision and force and then land square in the face of the opponent who managed to stay on his feet and return an equally powerful blow.

As my education unfolded I found myself enthralled with all types of fighting and started to take special notice of how battles were handled in movies. Unlike the drunken brawls on “Cops” where someone inevitably thinks it's a good idea to challenge the one person who has a gun and is allowed to shoot them, movie fights are choreographed to help drive the story. We've all seen the male hero go up against the bad guy with no ammo, no backup, nothing left but his fists. And while it's often a fight to the death, neither side hits below the belt. They fly through windows, break tables, fall two stories - all while fighting “fair”.

Unarmed, female heroines are not as common. It wasn't long ago that a girl fight in a movie consisted of two girls engaged in a hair pulling-scratching-biting exchange where high-heeled shoes had been kicked off and men were standing by waiting to see someone's underwear. Things turned when Demi Moore went to blows with a man in GI Jane and held her own. In a more farcical fashion Angelina Jolie knocked Brad Pitt around in Mr & Mrs Smith and Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz unleashed some creative stunts in Charlie's Angels.

I'm sure there are many reasons we don't see more of this in movies and I suspect it's because many people don't consider a fist fight between a man and a woman – a fair match. As a writer, if I expect the audience to back my male hero I can't have him kill an unarmed woman – unless she has superpowers or is a cyborg. If my story is filled with stunts and impossibilities I can easily have my female heroine take out an army of thugs with one punch after another. It's when the story is supposed to be taken seriously that writers start arming their women.

In Kill Bill I & II, Lucy faces an army using her martial arts skills. In The Matrix, Trinity uses her acrobatic fighting technique and guns to take out the computer generated “agents”. Alabama Whitman turns the tides of a brutal beating using a corkscrew in True Romance. And Lt Ripley, using a walking, forklift loader, takes on the Alien queen. The appeal that has stirred off of these tough girl characters has spilled into real life with the growing popularity of women's boxing and cage fighting as well as the more playful and sexually charged Jello wrestling, roller derby and organized pillow fighting. It seems that women are finding their inner Ripley and the rest of us are showing up to watch.

I exited my research on the life of Thad Spencer a boxing fan and I've made a commitment to include only realistic fights in my screenplays unless I'm writing a comedy. I'm considering trying out for the local roller derby team or maybe entering a Jello wrestling match because, in the words of Rocky from the top grossing boxing film of all time, “I can't sing or dance.”

Check out this rambling in the November 15th issue of El Hispanic News

Caller #5

Car Talk Baby. Yep. That's right. My mechanical difficulties drove me to seek the advice of mechanical gurus – Tom and Ray Magliozzi, aka “Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers” on NPR's Car Talk.

A number of years back – after I killed a slant six engine and replaced it – I couldn't get my Dodge Dart to stop dieseling. Click and Clack helped me out and also gave me some advice on where to find a new dipstick holder (a story for another time). So with my 1967 Ford Truck running ragged, I decided to contact them again.

I'm very happy to say that they invited me to be on their show which will air this Saturday at 10am and on Sunday at 11am Pacific Time. In the Portland area, tune in to KOPB-FM 91.5. To find other ways and means of tuning in visit Car Talk at http://www.cartalk.com/ct/carriagesRadio.jsp

See you on the radio...Rebecca

Machines 1 Rebecca 0

Today was one of those days that would have made the Transformers proud. And the Terminator and Hal 9000 would have been smiling as well. Today was a day where almost every machine I interacted with halted my efforts.

I am a lover of older cars which has its ups AND downs. My 1975 Dodge Dart has been parked for a couple months. The engine - which is nearly impossible to kill - has finally died as a result of my actions during a time that I was much less attentive than I am now. And I still have a great deal of room for improvement. When "The Bean" was parked I was left with my 1967 Ford Pickup Truck aka "The Toad". A pretty cool rig, but not meant to be a daily driver for anyone with less upper body strength than The Incredible Hulk. Knowing that an engine replacement for The Bean was a ways off, I started looking for a third car. I found a very cool 1976 Jeep Cherokee that would be sure to get me out of my driveway once the snow starts to fall.

So here I've been over the past few weeks getting my truck ready for Winter and coordinating the clutch that needed to be put into my Cherokee. All has been on track and moving along seamlessly until five days ago when the Toad started misbehaving. I had driven a short distance, turned it off and then went to start it up and nothing. So I rolled it down the little hill I was on and popped the clutch and away I went. The next day I took a look under the hood and saw what I always see. An engine whose parts have made up names like - the cuplet, the thingy, and the dohicky with the wires sticking out. Don't get me wrong, I can work on my car. I changed the master cylinder, the oil and oil filter, replaced the points with an igniter thing and put on a new fender. I can do a tune-up, change a starter, replace a head gasket and change a fuel filter. But when it comes to following directions (they are written in "man"), naming the parts or diagnosing the problem - yeah - I'm just not your girl.

Okay - back to The Toad...I had only a few errands to run that next day so I just made sure to park on a hill. I made it out and just about home without incident. I stopped at the top of my driveway, turned off the truck, got out and opened the gate. I got back behind the wheel and knew it wouldn't start so I didn't even try. I started to roll down the driveway, I pushed in the clutch, put it in gear and popped it. Just then, what sounded like a bomb, went off under my truck. Who knew that when you pop the clutch you have to have the key on.

So now on top of my starting problem, I had blown open my muffler. I decided to tackle the starting problem first. I put in a new battery, tested the starter and changed a couple suspect wires. The next day it started slow but it started. This was yesterday and it seemed that things were looking up.

Today was a big errand day so when I arrived home last night I decided to play it safe and park on the hill. When I climbed behind wheel this morning and put my hand on the key I knew instantly that I was sunk. I had left the key on which drained my new battery completely dead. I had almost no runway to pop the clutch but tried anyway. Nothing. I got it to the carport and put it on the battery charger. I had fifteen minutes to get it going or I would have to cancel an appointment that took me two months to get. One hour and forty five minutes later it finally started. The next stop was Smitty's Muffler Shop. When I phoned they said it would take them fifteen minutes to install the new muffler but once I arrived they said two hours. I had another appointment I absolutely could not miss - so I left.

I arrived at my next destination sounding like a hotrod and turned off the truck. After it was loaded to the gills I went to start it and nothing. I can't tell you all the things I said because I'm trying to keep this PG. I tried again. Nothing. I tried jumping it. Nothing. Finally the warehouse workers and a truck driver got tired of watching me try and gave me a push. The Toad started and when I finally made it home I called my Toad adventures done for the day.

A few hours ago I realized I was in the midst of something much bigger than my truck. I got on my tractor with the intentions of unloading the Toad. I started it, drove fifty feet, turned it off, loaded it up and when I went to start it again - nothing. I tried to get it going up until I started to get mad and then I just had to laugh. As I'm writing this my computer speakers are starting to hiss and crackle and I've decided to skip heating up my leftovers.

From now on when the machines turn on me, I'm going lay down and read my automotive manual. This way, hopefully, they'll see me as a human with a useful skill and spare my life.

The show must go on...

A couple days back, a performer in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival went to new heights to ensure that his act went off without a hitch. "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf" was due to perform in the "Circus of Horrors" when he discovered his small contraption, that allowed him to attach a vacuum cleaner to his penis, was broken. Being a dedicated performer, Captain Dan located some glue and used it to secure the attachment. Needless to say, he and his penis ended up in the hospital.

Not having, as Austin Powers puts it, a tallywhacker, I've always been fascinated by the degree at which these sensitive packages are guarded by some and by others, brought out in the open to participate in a wide variety of dangerous activities. You have the guy that hid illegal drug making chemicals down the front of his pants - which exploded. Then there's the guy who lost a drinking game and got a ring stuck on his johnson. And then one guy set his on fire in an attempt to win some cash. The movie American Pie inspired a teenager to feel the love of pastries. No one told him that the pie should be cool and he suffered serious burns. Jack Ass The Movie I & II took penile participation to new heights and then there's the guy, that inspired my short film "Flung", who had a sexual encounter with a machine that cost him one of his testicles.

I've heard guys say "it has a mind of it's own" which makes me wonder what it thinks when it discovers its in the hands of a Darwin Award contender.

You can watch Flung right here.



Other fun videos behind the scenes while making Flung and Gettin Honeys.